I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
