she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Randomize
