I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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