brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
