she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
