I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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