I heard we made out
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
