He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
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