The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
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