i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
