so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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