He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
