I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
