Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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