Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
There r osticjed everywhere
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
