just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
