thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
