No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
