so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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