I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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