You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Dear god my vagina.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
