But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Sext me about skeletons
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
