If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize