omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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