He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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