Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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