how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
