Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
