Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
