He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
