Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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