The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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