why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
