But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
