The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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