Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
he was CRYING into my vagina
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
