Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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