Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
