He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
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Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
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Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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