Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
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the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
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Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
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