i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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