Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize