My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
there is puke in my bra ... again
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize