I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Be still, my beating vagina.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
