i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
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There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
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Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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