I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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