that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
