i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
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While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
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I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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