chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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