By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
