Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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