And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
