I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
