Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize