i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
