I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
