She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize