That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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