Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
what day is it and did you see me today?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
