these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
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