i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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