I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
