you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
My balls are so social today.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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