D3 body, D1 cock
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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