Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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