how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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