You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
