Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
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We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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