Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
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