can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
