i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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